Spring Break is nearing
Why was it not here sooner. 
My ass has been kicked. 

Getting buff as hell….
is an exaggeration.
I’m doing well though.

Apply for research, 
Most tedious thing ever.
During Midterm week.

Scott Joplin music. 
Rag-time is like Pokemon
Gotta play them all.

Life is suddenly, 
much more interesting since, 
I swallowed a bug.
(it was an accident, and was entirely Rows Shirley’s fault.)

Gonna League it up. 
This whole week will be wasted, 
as Mordekaiser.

In a vague order similar to my evolving music preferences throughout the years. Oddly, my favorite bands do not appear as many times as I would have thought

1) Heatseeker- AC/DC
2) Live and Let Die- Guns N Roses 
3) Perfect Strangers- INXS
4) Futureal - Iron Maiden
5) Out of Control- Chemical Brothers
6) Steel Monkey- Jethro Tull
7) Paint it Black - Rolling Stones
8) Snow- Red Hot Chili Peppers
9) Crazy Train- Ozzy Osbourne
10) Summer in the City- The Lovin Spoonful
11) Hells Bells- AC/DC
12) Star 69 - REM
13) Boulevard of Broken Dreams- Green Day
14) Civil War- Guns N Roses
15) The Private Psychedelic Reel- The Chemical Brothers
16) Prayer of the Refugee- Rise Against
17) Holy Diver- Dio
18) Point of No Return- Dokken
19) Be Quick or be Dead - Iron Maidnen
20) White Wedding- Billy Idol
21) Rebel Yell- Billy Idol
22) Living Well is the Best Revenge- REM
23) Fully Alive- Flyleaf
24) Blackened- Metallica
25) Hellion/Electric Eye- Judas Priest
26) Blood Sugar- Pendulum 
27) The Fool - Luna Halo
28) New Dark Ages- Bad Religion
29) Just What I Needed- The Cars
30) Cold as Ice- Foreigner
31) Twilight Zone- Golden Earring 
32) Lunatic Fringe- Red Rider
33) Take Me Out- Franz Ferdinand 
33) Ballroom Blitz- The Sweet
34) Privjet Russia- Basshunter
35) Crimson Rider- Masterplan
36)Du Hast-Rammstein
37) When the Levee Breaks- Led Zeppelin
38) Detroit Rock City- KISS
39) New World Order- Gamma Ray
40) Nothing to Say- Slash
41) Bye Bye Beautiful- Nightwish 
42) Undone- Aranda
43) Crystalised - The XX
44) Enter Sandman- Metallica
45) Savior - Rise Against
46) Gunmetal Green - Trocadero
47) Violet Hill- Coldplay
48) Children of the Grave- Black Sabbath
49) Call Me- Blondie
50) Final Fantasy 6 Battle Theme- Black Mages
51) Karma- Kamelot
52) Memento Mori - Kamelot
53) Amaranth- Nightwish
54) Love Bites- Halestorm
55) Lights- Ellie Goulding
56) Just A Girl - No Doubt
57) My Own Way Home- Allen Lande
58) Drawing a Blank - Cherri Bomb
59) Cry for You- September

~Haven’t slept in days

Comp Sci is kicking my ass. 

Please save me Weekend.

~Hardcore Aikido.

Opening up a huge can

of kickassery.

~My cactus plant thing,

Who I shall now name Zuko

has grown white flowers.

~Signed up for classes,

Why the heck am I Comp Sci?

I’m so bad at it.

~Cormac McCarthy

Master of depressing books

Why did they all die?

It seems there is a lot of debate and anger surrounding this year’s election. The two controlling parties seem unable to come to any decision and compromise. Monkeys flailing around their feces at each other probably have a higher likelihood of resolving their disputes than candidates at a political debate.

So here’s what we do: Political Parrots

Parrots are infamous for their ability to mimic human speech. Political parties are infamous for yelling at each other. The obvious solution to this problem is to train a political parrot for each party, reciting plans and party platforms. This is a fantastic idea in many ways.

1) Parrots cannot fabricate promises, therefore there is consistency in ideals.
2) A malnourished or improperly trained parrot would reflect poorly on the party. If you are incapable of keeping a single parrot happy, how the hell can you help an entire country.
3) Parrots have a limited amount of space to memorize stuff. Therefore, each party will have to prioritize what they teach their parrot. Which will convey only the most important ideals to the public.
4) Parrots do not have a sense of temper, ensuring that during a parrot debate, there will be no foul remarks, violence or other inappropriate action.

On national television, one red parrot, one blue parrot, and all the other tiny underrepresented party parrots shall be placed in a tall cage with a microphone at each perch. Then, each parrot will recite its lines, which are then conveyed to the public.
 

-Had a crazy month

 Exams and some problem sets

 Time to Tumblr now.

-I’m on swole patrol

 Doing workouts like a beast

 Not like Francis yet >.>

-In COMP 140

 Writing programs like a boss

 It’s some epic stuff.

-Shredding on guitar

 I can almost play scales now

 God of Rock is pleased

-On League of Legends

 No, I am not addicted

 Can stop when I want.

• Are you kidding me?

Why have I still not been paid, 

Human resources?

• My poor cactus plant. 

Why do you look so thirsty?

Your soil is still wet.

• Still learning guitar

I’ll eventually shred

For now, I learn scales.

• On League of Legends,

Trying hard to kill some time

Regret it later. 

• Fruit flies are swarming 

here in my fruitless closet.

Why are they in here?

So there have been questions as to how the arranged marriage system compares to other forms of marriage in terms of love. The problem with this is that it is difficult to form a system which determines the amount of love someone has for an idea, person,  Scandinavian Power Metal band, place, or thing. 

So, here’s what we do.

Firstly, a baseline must be established. Most people consider death to be undesirable and/or unpleasant, and thus can be used as a somewhat consistent baseline. Now, an arbitrary object will be used as a unit of measurement. In this case, a loaf of warm banana nut bread, which requires 2 hours to bake and approximately 5 dollars (money excluded due to varying financial circumstances). A person will then be asked hypothetically, how many loaves of banana nut bread would they be willing to bake for their significant other’s life. Furthermore, they would be asked how many loaves of banana nut bread they would be willing to bake to save their own life. This SI unit would be called the Loaf.  Because of varying levels of self esteem, simply subtracting these  would not yield an accurate result. Therefore the formula (S-I)/I = L where S is the Loaf number of your spouse, I is the Loaf number of yourself, and L is the corrected Loaf percentage. Just to make the numbers easier to work with, the log of this answer is taken to arrive at the extra corrected Loaf percentage L.

Assuming marriages work like gravity, an inverse square law would apply. In gravity, F=(k G g)/(r^2). Using analogues between these scenarios, X=k(L1 L2)/(1/S*^2). This is where L is the Loaf number of both members of the union, and S* is the average of the loaf numbers the members gave to each other. k, will probably be some really big arbitrary constant(It shouldn’t make a difference), like the weight of a warm loaf of banana nut bread in micro grams. 

X will be the marriage score that can be assigned to couples in order to compare the happiness of a unit as a whole. 

In all seriousness, if someone can think of a way that might actually work, I would love to hear it. 

• My attention span,

is as short as my summer.

The night trudges by.

• Human resources, 

the harbinger of famine.

Where is my paycheck?

• Oh research mentor?

Am I not qualified yet?

Have you tougher tasks?

• There is Hardcore Chris,

Vaporized Manganese.

Smacked it with plasma. 

• Frequenting the gym, 

Trying to get “yoked” and “swole”

Will I not get “jacked”? 

Toast is an invaluable and irreplaceable  part of any well-balanced breakfast. In fact, it is the best thing since sliced bread. There have been multiple occasions where people have found pictures of Jesus on their bread, and have been able to sell them for a ridiculous amount of money.

Better Idea: Plasma cutting toaster. 

By using a low intensity stream of plasma, one would be able to create intricate designs of not only Jesus but also: Buddha, Quetzalcoatl, the ‘murrican flag, the Republic of Texas, fractals, the Mandelbrot set, and much more. Since plasma leaves incisions just a few atoms wide, high resolution images could be created. Large amounts of data could be stored on not your thumb drive, but on your toast drive. This biodegradable and tasty solution would put an end to our paper needs. Turn in your homework on a piece of toast, and your teacher could feed a starving family if it sucked.

It is as a wise man once said:

Give a man a piece of toast, and he may have a good breakfast.
Teach a man to operate a Plasma Toaster, and he will revolutionize the world.

Dog Shows… I really dont understand why these things work. People watching people walk their dogs… And commenting on how beautifully they walk in a circle.

Better Idea: Boa Constrictor Shows

1) Boa Constrictors are a single species, reducing species bias. No “species X is inherently more capable than species Y”

2) Less time needs to be spent on grooming, an more time can be spent on actual creativity.

3) Precious competition time can be used to test the actual skills of the boa constrictor, rather than wasting time with “posture” and such.